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MrDan

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Total: 160,353
since: 13 Feb 2004

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  • 4 yrs 28 wks 2 days old
  • Updated: 19 Aug 2008
  • 456 entries
  • 2,884 comments

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Da Board

~ blonde redhead ~
hi, once upon a time I had a blog on this site, so long ago I don't even remember what I had called it..
~ blonde redhead ~
I started reading yours through a random sequence of events, you posted on mine a few times, this was a number of years ago,
~ blonde redhead ~
I got rid of my blog, it chronicled the downward spiral of my relationship with my ex, something that hurt too much to keep online, my point... yes I do have one..
~ blonde redhead ~
bear with me though, its my last day of work, and I'm alone and there was a bottle of wine in the fridge which I downed...
~ blonde redhead ~
is that you're not alone, and random stranger like me read your thoughts and care and know the pain of life and being alone..
~ blonde redhead ~
I guess thats all, sorry for consuming your board, I wish you all the best and don't stop writing, my life would be far more boring if you did..
~ Me ~
What a holloballo!
~ Spike ~
Boo. Almost Christmas and I'm almost prepared. Got S an exceptional present this year. I'm really proud of myself.
~ Ludmila ~
I can't be bothered with anything these days. Basically not much noteworthy happening. I feel like an empty room. I've more or less been doing nothing.
~ crazygirl ~
Hey Dan! Hope you are doing alright these days!

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At Least My Subconscious is Trying to Move On

« H E email
posted Sunday, 15 June 2008
I had a dream. A very vivid dream. My dreams are rarely like this. Usually in a dream I am somehow aware that none of what is happening is real. This was not the case. The dream was not about Rina. It was about someone from my past. Someone who I was previously fixated on. It appears my subconscious is trying to help me move on by replacing my Rina-obsession with a prior obsession. This makes sense since there are no potential new obsessions. I can't see how it would work though. I'm barely still in touch with the object of that prior obsession.

Maybe the point is to remind me that it is possible to get over these things.

I want to reply to Rina's email. Just to say "Okay. I understand. Please think well of me and remember me fondly". I want to tell her that although I know she has closed the door on this, my door will always be open. If she ever feels like she'd like to catch up and reconnect, I will always be open to it. Be it ten months from now, or ten years, or fifty years. Under whatever terms she is comfortable with.

But I'm not going to reply. It's not what she needs. And I think by now she knows that the door will always be open.

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